


Five Women that Belonged to Anakin (And One Man who Didn't)

by monchy



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-03
Updated: 2012-06-03
Packaged: 2017-11-06 18:38:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/421900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monchy/pseuds/monchy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Her name was...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Women that Belonged to Anakin (And One Man who Didn't)

Her name is Miracle, or at least that is her official one. She is a princess from this crazy, old planet, whose people still believe in killing pretty virgins to calm their gods, and she is the next victim. Or at least she was. Because Anakin has kidnapped her, for her own good, and is running away from the palace. If only the girl would stop screaming… He tries to tell her that he is saving her from death, that he will not harm her, but she keeps calling him a traitor.

Anakin doesn’t understand. Then again, he has never been very good at listening to what other people had to say, and he isn’t going to start now that the girl’s life is at stake, no matter what she says. Obi-Wan did explain something about culture and peace and respect, but Anakin had been plotting for way to long by then to actually listen.

Not too far away from the gigantic castle, they are caught. She screams and kicks until Anakin drops her unceremoniously to the floor, hearing with no regret the way the fabric of her fancy dress gets torn at her knees. She runs towards her father, who catches her in his arms and orders his men to shoot him. Anakin closes his eyes, expecting the blow, but it never happens. Instead, he finds Obi-Wan in front of him, defending his life. He isn’t sure why, but he is suddenly furious.

His Master does something to save his life, and keeps a serious, cold, unreachable front during the ceremony in which Miracle is killed. Anakin doesn’t want to watch, but Obi-Wan forces him to stay. When they reach their rooms, the battle that ensues is epic. Anakin calls him a murderer, and before he can take his words back, Obi-Wan has left the room. But Anakin is angry, and he can’t care right now.

However, he does realize his mistake hours later, after almost brooding himself to death on his rather uncomfortable bed. He comes out of his room and stays at the doorframe, surprised by Obi-Wan’s figure. His Master’s hands are buried deep in his reddish hair, and his shoulders shake uncontrollably, and Anakin is suddenly very scared. _Stupid, stupid, stupid_ , he thinks, when he hears his Master’s voice whisper _What have I done wrong?_

He takes a step forward, but he cowards back even before his foot has touched the floor again. He looks down, hugs himself, and whispers an inaudible _I’m sorry._

***

Her name is Barriss Offee, and she is Anakin’s best friend. He didn’t sleep with her, he didn’t try to, but he still screams at Obi-Wan that he did, just to annoy him. Not that the knowledge of Anakin sleeping with someone should bother his Master in the least, but Anakin is willing to use every dirty trick he has up his sleeve at this point. Obi-Wan doesn’t even flinch, and that makes Anakin even angrier.

He is seething jealous, and that’s probably what Obi-Wan doesn’t understand in this affair. The guy was tall, muscled, blond, so _not_ like the person Anakin pictured Obi-Wan with. Then again, he had pretty much pictured him with a woman. A woman, Force, a woman he might have been able to handle, but seeing Obi-Wan with another man just made him all the more closer, which inevitably made him all the more far away.

And so he screams at him with all he has got. He insults him, and yells at the top of his lungs and says things he doesn’t mean just to hurt him. Obi-Wan’s eyes show nothing, but Anakin knows better, because he has studied every expression, every little change, every shade of green that those perfect round orbs might get. He’s hurting his Master, and he hates himself for it, but that doesn’t stop him. His mouth keeps running, insensitive and cruel, mocking truths. Yet, Obi-Wan says nothing.

Anakin steadies himself eventually, and scared of those accusing eyes of Obi-Wan, he marches into his room and locks himself there, too scared to come out and face the consequences of his own acts. He sobs, feeling cold and lonely. The next morning, he pretends nothing happened. Obi-Wan lets him, greeting him with a soft smile and a home cooked breakfast. Anakin breathes in the smell, and smiles back. He promises himself he’ll never be the cause of Obi-Wan’s pain again.

***

Her name is… actually Anakin doesn’t even remember. She’s a prostitute, a whore, a woman desperate enough to sell her body in order to eat. She had leered at him, though, told him that she never gets clients this handsome, that he could have any girl he wanted. He chose not to answer, not telling her how he can’t deal with hypocritical flirting, or about his former Master, currently sitting in their shared quarters, reading some report or other, and not thinking about him.

She’s pretty enough, long blonde hair, big chocolate brown eyes (almost like those of a puppy), and full rosy lips. Actually, anyone would say she’s gorgeous. She’s expensive, too, one of those girls only people from the higher class of Coruscant hire to entertain their parties or play their kinks. She tells him that she has dressed as just about anything Anakin might imagine, and he listens, enthralled by the tone of her voice, the way her lips move, and how her fingers are travelling up his thigh.

When the night is almost over, Anakin leaves. She has touched him, but he hasn’t returned the favor. He can see in her eyes that she understands, that she has seen that kind of pain before, and that she has probably felt it, too. He kisses her goodbye, a sweet, flitting touch of his lips against her temple, and she strokes his cheek gently and calls him sweetheart. Anakin knows he’ll never forget her, her hair falling over her body like a cascade, and her long legs stretched on golden sheets.

Obi-Wan says nothing when he comes back, and only ends up picking up after him, making sure his boots, cloak and belt are where they are supposed to be, and not thrown carelessly on the floor, in the middle of the room. Anakin stays silent, and drags himself to bed, burying himself under the boring white sheets of his bed at the Temple. They’re clean, and they smell of nothing that resembles humanity. Obi-Wan leans close, touches his hair, twists his braid with his index finger, says _I wish you told me._ Anakin doesn’t, but when Obi-Wan kisses his temple, Anakin clutches him and folds himself inside his Master’s embrace, hoping that his tears don’t give him away and tell his Master that if they fall is because this is as close as he will ever get to him.

***

Her name is Padmé, and she’s perfect. She has that kind of childish beauty that’s hard to find; an innocent, rounded face, porcelain white skin, big eyes, adorned with long lashes that would fall graciously over her pinkish cheeks whenever she smiled with her red, small lips. Anakin adores her, and he wishes he could love her.

He kisses her, stays, allows himself to live the fantasy of a hidden marriage. There’s happiness there, in the surface, ready for him to reach out and take it, and he wishes he could drown himself in the sound of Padmé’s pretty, honest laugh. She knows, she must know. She’s not only gorgeous, she’s also smart, she’s probably the smartest woman Anakin has ever met, and he has to wonder why is she staying when she has to know. Anakin thinks that she truly loves him, and he wishes she didn’t. He hates hurting her, because he does care.

He stays, though. He stays, and when he touches her, he closes his eyes and fights the necessity his mind has of thinking of someone else. So when he comes, it’s with her name on his lips, and her eyes on his. It is when the night is quiet and dark and she’s asleep next to him that he allows his mind to wander. He knows he will see Obi-Wan the next day, just like every day, and he wonders what it would be like to hear his voice, low and broken, begging and lusting and losing control. He wants all of Obi-Wan, he wants the Jedi, the Master, the friend, the father, the brother, the lover, and it kills him to know that there are parts of Obi-Wan that he will never see.

He spends some nights at his quarters, though; he doesn’t tell her where he is, but she must know. He sleeps on his old bed, asks Obi-Wan why he doesn’t move to a more comfortable place now that he’s not there, and he says that he wants Anakin to always have a place to sleep. And Anakin would hate him, if only he didn’t love him so much.

***

Her name is Leia, and she’s his daughter. He doesn’t know, at least Vader doesn’t, but deep inside him, a pulse that still beats somewhere knows that this princess dressed in heavenly white is his daughter. She’s beautiful, and she looks just like her mother. Obi-Wan must know, and as Vader threatens the girl, hears hateful words coming from her pretty parted lips, the part of Anakin that’s still inside him wonders if the old man is mocking him. But no, that’s not like Obi-Wan at all.

There’s a boy, too, Luke. Vader doesn’t care, but Anakin does. Although he cares more about this last fight with his former Master, this last chance to feel something that he’s not allowed to feel anymore. As he holds his lightsaber against the only one who ever beat him, he smiles. It’s not Vader who smiles but Anakin, with a mouth that isn’t covered in metal, and a voice that needs no help to be heard. For a moment, his saber isn’t red but blue, and instead of a large, triangle-shaped ship they’re both in a training room at the Jedi Temple in Coruscant. He can see Obi-Wan, long auburn locks that never turned grey, and blindingly beautiful smile.

In the end, Obi-Wan just vanishes. Vader hates him for it, just as much as Anakin would, for not even letting him have the pleasure of killing him. He deserved that right, if only because no one ever cared for Obi-Wan as much as Anakin did.

Obi-Wan comes back, though, in bluish form and full of words. He makes no questions, but he taunts him, makes him realize that he’s losing the battle, that his time is over. Vader sends spiteful words back, but Anakin relishes in the company of his old friend. One day, the one day that was bound to end up with Vader’s death, Obi-Wan looks at him, looks beyond the mask and the fear, and sees Anakin again. He asks, _What did I do wrong?_ , and Anakin has no answer, for he never said that all the love Obi-Wan had for him was never quite enough.

Eventually, Vader’s demise comes, and as his body is left behind, he looks forward, to the times of Luke and Leia, of his children, and of the only woman in his life that survived him. There’s nothing left for him more than an afterlife with the Force, and the bittersweet feeling of never being loved back in the right way.


End file.
